That Computer Show

Ok… So you’ve all heard of magicJack the new phone service that promises among other things, world peace, whiter whites, a better sex drive, and a small but important feature; unlimited phone calls to the U.S. and Canada. But is it true? Is all the hype legit? or is the magicJack essentially a UBS dongle of poo? Read on to learn about my experience with magicJack as it unfolds! That’s right, I purchased magicJack, and have it sitting here next to me, still in the first class U.S. postal envelope. So how does the story end? read on!

Ok, it all started when  ordered the magicJack on Tuesday, March 25th, 2008 around 11:00PM. I paid for the rush processing and the perfunctory shipping and handling fee of $2.95, and $6.92 respectively. My order total for two jacks, and all the extra shipping gobbledygoo came to $96.75. That’s right… I paid $100.00 for the privelege of writing this review! (The promise of unlimited calls for $20 a year had nothing to do with it, I assure you.)

So it is now Saturday, March 29th, 2008. It took 4 days for the bits to get to me. As I see it, there are some obvious pros and cons to the service, and I am a bit skeptical of the promise of unlimited calls for such a stinkin’ low fee. It tickles at the back of my brain stem, and reminds me of some of the early Internet boom bubble scams, but hey, let’s give it a chance.

Here I sit, John Q. Consumer. I am about to open my magicJack, and it is 6:36 PM EST… … … *hears crickets and baited breath while I open the packaging*

Ok, sorry I had to pee. But I’m back now, and opening the majicJack. It should be noted I prepared in advance by grabbing a crusty old analog phone I have at the store for emergencies. Now…. I am greeted with “majicJack.. welcome to a lifetime of savings.” How warm and fuzzy!

Now… let’s open the package. I DO rather like how the foamy insert cradles the magicJacks with care, and oh how CHEESY the “60 seconds to a lifetime of savings” bit is… *tries not to gag from totally cheesy graphics*

So the package contains, in my case, 2 majicJacks, 2 USB extender cabels and some foam packing. Now I really do appreciate the extra USB extenders, in case your USB ports are hard to get to… Kudos majicJack guys! And remember… “It is not neccessary to use this UB extension cord.” Truer words were never spoken… indeed.

So here goes… it’s 6:45 and I am about to plug in my majicJack. It should be noted for posterity, and in case I don’t make it through this review alive, that I am using a MianoVision 1205-BRD 12.1″ Widescreen custom notebook with a TL-64 Dual Core CPU, Windows Vista Ultimate on 4 Gigabytes of RAM, and a 160GB Seagate SATA Hard Drive. Now with that out of the way, I am following the directions on my majicJack insert.

1. Plug any phone into majicJack.
   I am plugging my GE analog phone in now… *inhales deeply*
2. Plug magicJack into any USB port.
   I’m going to choose to plug it into a USB port on a working, turned on computer. I know you take it for granted… but never underestimate the obvious.
3. Pick up your phone and talk for free!
   Now I’m going to stop for a moment… It can’t be that simple. So I’m picking up my phone now… wait a moment… something just popped up on my screen. *raises eyebrow*

Ah Ha! On my taskbar is “majicJack (E:)” Whats this? but first I’m going to pick up my phone, before clicking on anything, and try to make a fabulous free call!

I’m dialing the store number now… let’s see what happens. I got a dial tone, but when I dialed the number…. nothing’s happening. Lets try clicking that little thingy on my taskbar. Ok, I get an explorer window but it doesnt have anything I can run. *scratches head* Curious…. It’s not working. What gives? Let me try unplugging it and replugging it in.

The time is now 6:57 PM. Oh hey, now I get an autoplay thingy… I’m going to choose the obvious option, “Start majicJack.”

I just got an error box that said majicJack cannot find an Internet connection. Let me try clicking it to fix it, as it requests.

Ok, I’ve just been taken to a webpage, obviously on the Internet (So I know I’m connected) and I’m going to run the fix as requested. *clickity click click!*

I’m prompted to download (and I assume install) a small 7 megabyte program, that I am sure will fix all my woes. It is now 7:03 PM. I’m thirsty… what should I get to drink? Maybe a tasty Vitamin Water! Yes, that sounds quite nice, excuse me a moment

*bops on over to the cooler and purchases a tasty and refreshing Vitamin Water, muttering about how Glaceau should be paying advertising for this free plug!*

Booyah! A Registration screen! Whoot and stuff! I’m entering in my email and password to get set up…. Um, why is it asking me if I use DirecTV or dish Network for TV? Strange…. *raises eyeborow and thinks about lying to see what happens*

Ok, now to choose my area code! *rubs hands together eagerly* Here we go…. South Caroli…. um… wait a sec… where’s South Carolina? Where’s Wisconsin? Hey… there are like 50 states, right? There are only 24 or so states listed. That sucks. Upon further review it looks like all the other states are “Pending.” That’s a big black mark on the service thusfar… Let’s choose…. hmmm….. Since I have family in California, and a lot of our distributors are from there, we’ll try Cali. San Francisco to be exact… And remember, if you’re going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair!

I’m reading the majicJack terms of service, and I am a tad concerned about privacy. While they will not share my data to just anyone, they DO reserve the right to share it with partner companies… that pretty much means anyone that pays them a sweet fee I fear. That worries me.  Now THIS worries the heck out of me. This is taken straight from the majicJack agreement page. It looks like they are going to feed me ads when I use the service.

“Our computers may analyze the phone numbers you call in order to improve the relevance of the ads.”

Um…. *gulp*?

“You also understand and agree that use of the magicJackâ„¢ device and Software may include certain communications, such as service announcements, administrative messages and newsletters, and you will not be able to opt out of receiving them.”

And then of course, you waive all rights, towards the bottom of the agreement page with the standard legalese… I’ve got a bad feeling about this… But I will press on…

Ok, so it is installed, lemme try and make a call. Well, nothing is happening. I do have an error that says I’m not connected to the Internet, but clearly I am. This bodes not well. I also notice that everytime I pick up my phone, the software pops to the front of my screen. I wonder what happens when I’m playing a game… *thinks about loading up Half Life 2*

You know, this is taking a LOT longer than I would have anticipated. I’m getting tired of reviewing this thing *grimace* I’d like to make a call already! I’m on tech support chat now, and hoping for a resolution bfore I just send the stupid thing back. I mean, I’m an I.T. professonal, and I’m having a butt ton of issues already.

Well…. that looks like it’s the end of what is apparently Part 1 of the majicJack review. Final verdict so far is bleak. The service doesn’t work right now, and the support rep told me the service is down right now, and engineers are working to resolve it.

*FAIL*

*EDITOR’S NOTE* I will be posting a folowup shortly, where I actually DO get a phone call made! Thing get MUCH better then!